26 April – Electron returns to his stressful job for a break from all of the stress, but first stops off at the local Drug Support Centre, which Quark apparently attends weekly. He is not quite sure why he is there but feels the need to offload his pent up anger on someone outside of the family.
A support worker listens as he spills out his rage. She is told of the drug dealing/manufacturing, the extreme misuse, the various people turning up at the local shop asking about Quarks whereabouts, of the weapons discovered in Quarks room (2 swords a hatchet and a scythe), of Quarks collapsing and of course the fire. Her only response is that Quark is due to attend an appointment the next day and that they will take on board what has been said. He pushes her on the possibility of sectioning but is told that it is very difficult to get someone sectioned and that it is ”not like the old days”. As an ex drug user she seems pleased at this.
As he is escorted out of the building she states that they have a police unit affiliated with them in an office upstairs and they may be interested in the weapons aspect. Implying that everything else is of no interest whatsoever.

On returning home from work, Electron is angered to find Quark standing in his kitchen.
“He is just leaving” says Charm.
“Damn right he is “ replies Electron, ignoring Quark as he shuffles out of the shed.

“You know he is banned from here”
“Yes but I had to talk to him”
“We had a long talk and he has explained a lot of things. The babbling that AntiQuark heard was him trying to pronounce the name of a friend of his, it’s an African sounding name, so he wasn’t rambling. Its quite funny really.”
Electron manages to bite his tongue
“ He is happy staying at Gluon’s and is looking to get a passport. He’s going to the drug support place tomorrow and is looking to go into rehab. He swears that he is not on H, all the needles Charm found in his room during the clean up belonged to a friend of his who he let jack up. He accepts that this was wrong. He will be given a urine test to prove he is H free and is looking forward to getting a print out of the test result to prove this to everyone.”

Sadly, Proton believes all of this. She is a doting Mother.

29 April – Quark has been informed that the forensic man is turning up at noon and that he is required to answer some questions.
Proton Electron and Charm all turn up at the house at the appointed time but there is no sign of Quark. This may have something to do with the fact that in her text to Quark, Charm stated that he needed to meet the Arson man not the forensic expert. But really, they all knew that he had no intention of appearing.
The Forensic guy dons his sturdy boots and anti flash protective overalls before he enters the house. Everyone else in the house is dressed in normal attire.
He investigates the room, places what is left of the sofa back in its original position, the towel driers are positioned back on the radiator, he can see where they were positioned as the radiator is unscorched where they were attached. Next to the charred remains of a towel, the upturned table lamp is righted in its position on the floor behind the sofa and beneath the towel rail. It all becomes clear.
He leaves the lounge taking the lamp and flex with him for testing, he believes it may be faulty and will complete his report at a service station stop on his way home. He does not believe it will be necessary to see Quark.
Before departing he takes Charm aside and asks,”Does your brother use drugs”.
“No she replies”.


Loopholes, Shmoopholes


A loss adjuster turns up to assess the damage.
He attempts to ask Proton a few questions, but as listening is not her strong point she begins to harangue him with demands for a nice apartment to move into and wants to know how much of her house will be replenished at their expense.

Suddenly, mid questioning, there is a load crash from upstairs. It sounds as if it came from Quarks room, both Electron and Charm leap to their feet and run to investigate. It must be obvious to the adjuster that they are fearful of something as they return to inform him and Proton that it was just a piece of timber wedging the window shut that had fallen to the floor.

After some 90 minutes the insurance man is nearing the end of his questions and no doubt his tether. He has noticed that the kitchen window is also secured by some makeshift pieces of timber. There is just one thing he does not quite understand;
“I’m still not sure who is actually living here?”

All the while, Proton has gone out of her way to avoid saying that Quark was resident, she kept implying that he was temporary and that Strangeness had his own Flat.
“ Quark has been living here for 2 years!” Electron clarifies as Proton glares at him.

Satisfied, the adjuster begins to inspect the living room. He is sure that he is dealing with a fire , this guy is good, but is unsure of the cause.
He returns to the kitchen and begins to discuss other claims he has dealt with. He concentrates on cases where actions have deliberately caused a fire and states how even if this is the case, the insured person is still entitled to HALF payment of their claim.
He then states that he will call in a forensic expert to ascertain what has happened and that her claim will be settled as soon as possible after that.
Just as he is leaving he turns to say;
“I expect Quark to attend when the forensic expert calls.”




22 April -the clearance of the house continues.

The house is securedburnt-house-2 against Quark, windows are boarded up, doors barricaded, there is no way that Quark will be getting back into this house. At 4pm the doorbell rings and Charm goes to open the door.
In walks Quark!

Despite saying that he had somewhere to stay he claims to have been walking the streets since leaving the house, but no pity is forthcoming. He is chaperoned around the house as he attempts to collect a few items only to find that those items have been dumped. This angers him but it is not as if he had not been warned.He leaves empty rucksacked.

23 – 25 April – Proton & Electron are in the shed with Charm. She can no longer sleep in the house as she has developed a smoke induced cough.
Throughout the weekend Charm contacts various acquaintances of Quark to see if they can put him up. Eventually Gluon steps up to the plate and agrees that she will put a roof over his head temporarily.
In the course of her quest Charm has discovered just how bad things have gotten with Quark:
He has ostracised all of those close to him, even hardened drug users and junkies find his misuse too much to handle. Added to which he seems to have crossed or ripped off some very dangerous people. His drug taking is seen as out of control. The general consensus seems to be that Quark needs to be sectioned for his own good.. But how?

Meson, awaking from his drug induced slumber in some New York shithole is informed of his sons behavior and even he believes this to be a good idea, but in the meantime states that he will start to extradite a passport for Quark. Thus enabling him to travel to the United States and thence to Mexico to visit a shaman where he can get to know more about hallucinogens. Great idea. NOT!


Meanwhile there are more pressing things to attend to; Insurance claims, temporary accommodation, building work…….



21 April 2016


BrrrNNNggg BBrrrNNggg BBrrnnnGGGG BrrrrNGGGGGG.

Urghhh …. 8 am, what the…….  Electron drags himself out of the bed to answer the phone.
It is Charm:

“There has been an incident”
“What’s happened, Whats happened?” shouts Proton hobbling from the bed.
“ We have had a fire!”
“Is everyone OK” asks Electron.
“ Yes we are all okay but you will need to get around here”
“ The lounge is destroyed”
“Wheres Quark?” Proton instructs Electron to ask.
“ Gone upstairs to his room”

Electron is hastily dispatched to the house.
The lounge is indeed destroyed.Electron cannot help but look at the ceiling, his ceiling only recently reinstated at great expense. The sofa is almost burnt in half, The wall and radiator behind are black and peeling. The TV set has begun to melt. The floorboards beneath the sofa are like remnant cinders from an open fire. The bay window is shattered. The Victorian door is smashed through where the firemen needed to gain access.

A smell of rancid smoke fills the house.

So what happened?
AntiQuark narrates the course of events:
Luckily I didn’t get much sleep. The bloody phone was ringing all night long, I finally got up at must have been 4 am and ripped the phone line out of the wall and returned to bed. I then smelt smoke about an hour later and got up to investigate. Then the alarms all went off. Quark was coming from the kitchen with the fire extinguisher but the idiot had shut the door behind him. It was deadlocked. I could see the orange glow within the room but Quark was of the opinion that there was no need to call the emergency services. Resisting the urge to batter him I pushed him out of the way and got my mobile out. Fortunately the fire brigade were very quick, they said another 5 minutes and the first floor would have gone up in flames.

Anyway we have got things to do, he is still leaving today.

They busy themselves clearing the house. AntiQuark makes eleven journeys to the local dump. Electron changes the lock on the front door.
All the while Quark is in his room upstairs, when last seen by Charm he was busy snorting 3 different coloured lines of chemicals off a piece of card.

And then he is gone. Left of his own accord….for now.

Charm, AntiQuark and Electron all stand in the hallway. Along with the smoke, there is something unspoken hanging in the air.

It’s all a bit coincidental, opines Electron.

Mmmmmm, the other two concur.

Burning Bridges


Arriving at work Electron is informed that a Mr Strangename has asked to be called back. He does not know Mr Strangename so ignores his request. He calls again and reluctantly Electron accepts the call. It is AntiQuark,  a close friend of Charm and Quark, who says they need to talk later to finalise THE PLAN.
They meet in the park and Electron is informed of behavior that had been thus far unbeknown to him:

  • Quark has been borrowing money from AntiQuark but never paid any back.
  • Various packages have been arriving at AntiQuark’s and other addresses around town. All for Quark although the names on the packages were never his name, sometimes anagrams of his name, sometimes not, sometimes male, sometimes female. AntiQuark believes that these packages contain legal highs or other chemicals .It seems that Quark has plans of manufacturing his own drugs. A notebook discovered in Proton’s lounge confirms this; website addresses and lists of various pharmaceuticals together with prices, £80 here, £250 there,  £950 on 1st April alone. April fool ? Where is he getting such sums of money?
    The notebook also contains a list of his books together with prices, presumably for sale but this does not correspond with his outlay.
    His free money handout amounts to less than £100 a week and they all know what he spends that on.
  • Quark has been taken to hospital on several occasions having been found unconscious in the street (park) he is then returned to Proton’s house. He treats Ambulances as Taxis.
  • He has been having many junkie “friends” around to the house.
  • He seems to be dealing. Hence the smiley face sign in his mothers lounge window, a known code to those in the know, that the drugs are available, the sign is taken down when they are not.
  • At least one person has overdosed in his mothers kitchen – the junkie was dragged outside and recovered – no ambulance was called, either for him or Quark.

All of this  happened when Strangeness was still sharing the house with Quark but he did not think to inform his mother lest it upset her. But in the end it all got too much even for him and that is why he fled to his grans.


It is agreed that THE PLAN must be carried out on 21 April, a few days hence,and that it would be best to keep this information from Proton. She is of the belief that Quark has until 1st July but they cannot wait that long. The house is going downhill fast and god knows what it will be like after another 2 months.

The days pass and Charm continues to tidy the house whilst Quark continues to take whatever he can get his hands on in the way of chemicals. She is now assisted by AntiQuark who has made it clear to Quark that anything he has not packed come 21st April will be taken to the dump. Quark does not seem bothered, remaining in his room consuming chemicals.

Eviction Eve arrives. Quarks rucksack is in the hall awaiting his departure. Charm and AntiQuark are in the large bedroom on the first floor ready for the final push on the morrow. Quark has locked himself in the lounge having been belligerent to everyone and no doubt feeling persecuted. He has made no attempt to tidy up or pack despite saying that he has arranged storage for his belongings (mostly broken electrical equipment or things discovered in skips during his night time raids. He has continued to do this in the past few weeks despite his imminent eviction). One more evening to go………

A Very British Ninja

Charm contacts Strangeness and finds that he has for once ventured out of his grandmothers house to go into town for the evening. He is at a nice bohemian bar and deep in conversation with a new found friend. Male or female is not disclosed but he sounds happy. However it is still early, they are all aware of what usually happens when Strangeness goes out for the evening.
The next day Grandmother calls to inform everyone that Strangeness did not get home until 4am. He was in a bad way having been beaten up again.
Strangeness has a superiority complex which means that he ultimately treats everyone with disdain, when drunk this tips over into anger and the slightest suggestion of confrontation can result in violence. He starts to think that people are looking at him in a “funny way”, not really surprising for a 40 year old goth with the diction of an 18th century gentleman.
The problem is that Strangeness is interested in martial arts and the ancient Chinese philosophy of warfare. When things kick off he is so busy posturing in preparedness for his oriental style fight, that his opponent(s) adopt the British style.
They kick the shit out of him.


Strangeness has lost his spectacles, has two black eyes and has either bruised or fractured his coccyx. His grandmother advised him to go to A & E but as a nihilist this is one of the many organisations that he does not believe in. Lawyers, banks, doctors, employment…..the list goes on.
The days pass with Strangeness hobbling around his grandmothers house using her crutches. He is over 6 feet tall whereas she is under 5 feet tall. Despite a public school education he is unable to work out how to adjust the height of the crutches so walks around with limited eyesight groaning bent double leaning on the two tiny sticks. It must look hilarious and pathetic at the same time.

The Plan

Amazingly Charm has taken notice of Electron’s outburst and has begun setting a plan into action.
Quark has been given notice to quit.He is to get out of the house by the 1st July deadline set by Electron. Charm has promised to help him get his own accommodation if that is what he wants. But now it appears that Quarks plans have changed, he doesn’t want a flat, he wants to go and live in Mexico.
He no longer has a passport.

Charm leaves her grans house to come and stay in Proton’s house for the duration to help Quark tidy up and pack in readiness for his departure. Ever afraid of hard work, Strangeness remains behind.

After a few days away, Charm is angry to find that Strangeness has commandeered her bed in her grandmothers house.
“Yes “ says Proton “and you are using my bed in my house”.
“And you are in my bed” Electron points out to Proton.
Like a warped version of Goldilocks and the three bears, Quarks behavior has ousted each and everyone of them into different beds.
For the first time in months they all laugh.



4 April 2016

 The structure of “conversation “ with Proton is always the same. Someone will state an opinion  and she will respond, “Yeah but….” It is as if she can never agree with another persons point of view. She always has to take a contrary stance. You could say to her that the sky was blue and she would find a way to negate this. A number of years ago there was a notorious child killer all over the news, it was an open and shut case. Everyone thought that she was guilty. Yeah but, both Proton and her mother thought it could have been someone else… Maybe the butler…. Who did not exist.


Charm rings to say she is coming to visit and sort things out at Protons house. “When?” asks Proton.                                                         “I’m on my way, be there in about an hour”. Charm arrives, the problems with Quark are discussed. She knows. Unbeknown to them she has been dropping down occasionally for some time and has seen the state of the house.                                    She asks if the lights in the house have been fixed..

“What about the lights?” “They are all out and it isn’t the fuse this time, they have been out for about 6 weeks. Both Quark and Strangeness said that they had told you”                                          They hadn’t.

Electron is asked if he will go around to fix it. He reluctantly agrees to do so but insists that Quark leaves the house before he will enter as otherwise he will not be responsible for his actions.

Quark is called and eventually answers.He does not want to go out as he is cleaning but eventually agrees to do so. He is given 30 minutes to leave and Charm and Electron set off. They arrive, put the key in the door, it does not turn. He is still inside with the key in the   lock.Propped up in the centre of the living room window is a sign of a smiley face saying  “Sex in the street” FFS Charm batters on the door while Electron sits around the corner in the car…away from Quark. Eventually Charm is let in. Reluctantly Quark leaves, no doubt for the park. Electron sets about mending the electrics in the house. Quark had stated that it was definitely not the fuse.It was the fuse. A few lights come on but on closer inspection most of the other fittings have been relieved  of their bulbs and for some reason their lampshades. The store of light bulbs in the under  stair cupboard no longer contains light bulbs.

With nothing more to be done, Charm and Electron return to the shed.  On reporting to Proton, her main concern seems to be for the light bulbs.

“We must buy some and fit them. We can’t have Quark wandering around in the dark” “If he wants light he can buy some bulbs”says Electron.        “Yeah but……..” begins Proton.                                               “NO YEAH BUT!” screams Electron.

The flood gates open:

If he didn’t spend every penny on drugs he could afford to buy a light bulb, he is a junkie c***, he doesn’t give a sh** about anyone or anything, and you just let him get away with it all because he is vulnerable or sad or you are not feeling very well or lets not upset anyone or lets not confront anything, or or or or yeah but, yeah but there is always an excuse to maintain the status quo.

And then the bombshell….


If he is not out of your house by the 1st of July, you are going back to live in your house  whatever state it is in and I am washing my hands of your entire family!

dinner party vom

Both Proton and Charm are in stunned silence until Proton decides to break this with…..

“Yeah but……….!”

A Cat Diversion


Meanwhile the Cat has become a fixture.

Choosing to turn up night and daily in return for food and the occasional chin rub before  buggering off again.

Proton decides that she “loves” Cat and begins to treat him as one of her children, God help  him, he already has a catnip addiction.

Cat now has HIS bed, HIS light, HIS Door, and Electron is dispatched to ensure that these  things are either plumped up, on, or open, just in case Cat returns. If Cat does not return, Electron is sent out to look for him.

With unkempt hair and wearing slippers and pyjama bottoms Electron scours the back  alleys as he tentatively calls out into the darkness for someone called “Big Jessie!” Eventually the tinkling of a bell will be heard and Cat will appear at Electrons side for  the walk back home with only the occasional pause to inspect the underside of cars.  Walking with Cat makes Electron happy it brings out his caring side and gives him  a sense of control. As much control as one can have over a cat.

Protons eyes light up when Cat re-appears, she makes up songs and sings to Cat,  invariably Cat ignores her. But no matter, whatever the situation in the house;  tension, stress, arguments, all these disappear on Cats arrival.

As the months pass, Cat, now sure in the knowledge that he has a home, turns up as and  when he pleases. He stays for less time, just enough time to eat HIS food and HIS milk.

Electron points out that this is costing him a small fortune for what is basically a sentient  ornament that keeps disappearing. Mimicking Electrons question when Cat first began to make regular visits, Proton asks; “What is point of Cat?”

Electron ponders his own question and replies……………”Joy”.


cat alley






 22 March


What has been going on whilst Quark has been in the house entirely alone is open to speculation. Why the large wooden cupboard in the hall? Electron thinks it may be there as a blockade to the front door.  Why the incessant unanswered phone calls, drug debt demands?

But to Proton this is all perfectly understandable.  Apparently Quark stated the cupboard is for his new place when he moves out (hilarious).  Later he  said that it was  a project he was going to do up for Charm (who also does not have her own place).  Proton also believes that Quark did not answer the phone because he wanted to    answer it  in private (but why?). Who was calling so urgently?

Suspicious Electron, Gullible Proton, the truth is probably somewhere in between.

2 weeks pass by, both Proton and Electron have been felled by a vicious virus.  It gets so bad for Proton that she needs to collect her ventilator from her house.  Again she phones to warn Quark that she may be coming over.  She believes he sounds together.  After a few hours she phones again and is informed that the ventilator is nowhere  to be found.

“How do you know that? It is in my bedroom and that is padlocked closed.” “Ah”, replies Quark, “I had to break in on my birthday.”

(Quark regularly does this in order to steal from her stash of cigarettes,  £200 pounds worth last time before said stash was rescued to the shed.  She also has a rucksack full of painkillers that have been prescribed over the years.  Naively Proton believes these drugs hold no interest to Quark as they are past there use by date).

As ever Quark is ready with a reason for breaking in….                                                              “I had a friend around on my birthday and he brought a friend with him who swore  was okay.”                                                                                                 “And………?” prompts Proton.   “And it got a bit out of hand and his friend punched me in the face. I had not put all  the phones back in their chargers so when I wanted to use them they didn’t work.  So I had to use the one in your room.”

“Oh god, why did he hit you?” asks Proton already distracted, “At least you are okay.  So you cannot find my ventilator?”The interrogation now totally abandoned. “No its definitely not here.”                                                         “Okay, thanks Quark, love you, bye.” “Sounds to me that Quark definitely does not want you to see what’s going on   in your house, ” says Electron.



“No he is just being helpful”, she replies.