Ms. Proton (b 1957). An intermittently greying dark haired beauty with some disability problems. This means she has to rely on others for support. Tends to keep to herself and mistrusts those not related to her. Has an opinion about everything and is overly willing to share it.
She is made up of many components and at various times believes herself to be Irish, Cornish, Scottish … Celtic let’s face it …. or from London. Family tree has some indication of Germanic heritage but she refuses to acknowledge this.
In reality she is, as we all are, a child (sometimes literally) of the Universe and that includes Germany.
Mr. Electron (b 1959), Ms. Protons partner of 20 years and counting. A lean, not to say gaunt, aging, balding artist and borderline musician. Quiet and reserved until angered. The built up tension tending to make him SNAP!
Prone to sarcasm and cutting remarks but he finds it amuses him if not others- like boo-hoo. Works in what should be an interesting job in order to survive but is desperately looking for some form of escape.
Shares his life with Ms. P but has his own apartment (the most expensive shed in the world) to retire to when things get too much.
Deep down an observer of humanity and all that it entails.
These days this makes him rarely happy.
Strangeness (b 1976), the eldest. Refined and eloquent but at heart an emotional black hole. Spends the majority of his time in an emotionless black hole of sleep, as much as 4 days at a time before awakening for a meandering burst of constant wakefulness (in dark glasses) before retiring to bed again. (much as the wibbly wobbly men of Spike Milligans poem).
Well educated but quiet (There are many geese waiting to be booed). However when esoteric, historical or military themes are broached, this reticence is punctured by pretentious verbosity.
A fence sitter by nature, he will not be drawn into taking sides, but deep down hates everyone to the extent of harbouring murderous thoughts.
But, to date, of course, no action.
Charm (b 1978), the middle, female one. Strangely attractive to most who cast their eyes upon her. A siren, shape shifter and custodian of multiple personalities. Her nonexistent self-esteem means she stoops to pick up those whom she knows in reality are beneath her. Proceeding to take on whatever personality they are comfortable with until the alcohol brings out the personality they find they are uncomfortable with.
She then immediately moves on to the next one and like a baby chick attaches herself with limpet like tenacity to the first person she sets eyes upon.
Quark (b 1979), the youngest. A wannabe boho hobo with chemical dependency problems. Generally he can be found in a public park in the process of losing something entrusted to him. No concept of time space or responsibility. An inveterate liar, but with the requisite charm to make himself believable. At least to those with blinkers.
Has inherited some of his sister Charms ability to deceive but does not abuse this gift, instead believing himself to be a helper. To some extent a genuine belief in that he is the only one to offer his mother some assistance, albeit usually at a cost.
Question: How do you know when Quark is lying?
Answer: His lips move.
All three particles are intelligent , articulate (when coherent) and good looking. As such they should have no trouble making their way in the Universe. However, none but Charm has ever held down a job, and then only for a matter of months.
None can drive, which you will come to realise is a godsend and none appear to have any practical attributes.
All look younger than their earth years, but maybe that is to be expected when you live a life of leisure.
But now they are all on the flip side of their mid-thirties and still there is no sign of them beginning to grow up!.
The ever changing detritus to whom Charm becomes attached.
Many and various but all useless. Includes beaters, drug addicts, dealers, tattooists, drunkards and deadbeats. Other peoples partners, elderly pub landlords, Spanish janitors and gangs of boys on a night out. And so on and so on.
The latest, Neb#45 is a 30 year old part time shop worker who has never quite gotten over the death of his “best friend”, a hamster.
Has replaced this loss with his 2 new best friends, a rabbit and cat (Kali and Foxy). Suffers from toilet phobia to the extent that he can only “mark his territory” in the local park despite having access to a functioning bathroom. Cannot stand to touch packaged toilet rolls being purchased in his shop. Randomly attacks his own car a la John Cleese in Fawlty Towers when the going gets tough.
And so our story begins……