Having spent nearly 2 months in a luxury waterfront apartment, courtesy of the Insurance Company, Proton is now living in the shed. Charm has returned to her Grandmothers. But the endless caring for Proton is wearing Electron Down.
Early December and Electron is in Northern Spain. Alone!
Baby boy has stepped up to the plate to look after his mother for a week and give Electron a much-needed break. Electron is having a nice stress free time, eating and drinking and generally exploring the city on his own, when not ensconced in his luxury Hotel. It is wonderful, no constant chatter from Proton, it is like he has gone deaf.
He checks in by phone everyday to see that all is well, that the cat has turned up, but mostly to check that Proton has not burned his flat to the ground. Being a constant smoker she treats fags like incense, there is always one either in her mouth or teetering on the edge of an ashtray sometimes when she is not in attendance. It is a constant worry to Electron. But hey, in return for his week of freedom he will bring her thousands of cigarettes back from Spain at a vastly reduced price.
The holiday soon ends and Electron duly returns. All has gone well in the shed, it is still standing. As a thank to Baby Boy they will have a nice take away meal together that evening……….
Around 4.30 the phone rings and Proton answers it to the long-lost Quark.
From Protons responses it is obvious that he has plans to visit his grandmother and naturally requires money for his ticket.
“So the train is at 7.30? Well get over here in half an hour, Electron is back from holiday and we are planning a nice peaceful meal tonight and don’t want to be interrupted later.”
Quark of course gives his worthless promise.
“So when did he come out of the woodwork?” queries Electron.
“He’s been over a couple of times whilst you were away.”
“You know he is not allowed in the shed”
“Yes but he needed money to get down to Mum’s”
“So he has been given money for the train twice but he is still here?”
“Well yes, but you know how he is.”
Electron does indeed know how Quark is with train or bus travel. He gets given money and either;
- Doesn’t catch the train. The fare money gets spent on other things.
Catches the wrong train.
- Gets off the train half way through the journey. Stranded somewhere requiring a Taxi fare back.
- Falls asleep on the train and wakes up a long way past his destination.
It always takes at least 3 or 4 attempts to get him to where he intends to be.
Electrons stress level begins to rise, but he tries to remain calm and offers Strangeness to join him in a nice early evening brandy. Once finished, Baby Boy decides that he needs to offer something in return for his food and drink and will go out to get a bottle of wine.
He returns wineless having apparently dropped and smashed the bottle on the way back. However, after just one small brandy, Strangeness seems strangely overly intoxicated…
15 minutes before the due departure of Quarks train and there is still no sign of Quark.
With 10 minutes to go, he shambles in. He is thin, disheveled and stinks to high heaven. He is also sniffing a lot. More money is handed over and he is about to set off for the station when Proton points out that the train leaves in less than 5 minutes and he is at least 15 minutes away. A later train must be caught. This involves consulting his mothers laptop. But the way an addicts mind works, does not make this easy. Over the next half hour he downloads a transport charter indicating all of the legislation relating to running a train over his chosen route, 3 versions of the same irrelevant document. Gets a vague idea that there is a train and bus connection at 9.30pm and finally decides to telephone someone. The woman he talks top does not recognise his pronunciation of his chosen destination, to her there is no such place. He tries to spell it out to her, but still no such place. He ends up talking to head office, of something,but they have no idea what trains run or when.
Meanwhile Electron has done his own checking and it turns out that there is a train at 9.30 and Quark is finally dispatched from the shed at 9.05 to go to the station.
All the while, Strangeness has been getting progressively more drunk on the brandy he had consumed some 2 and a half hours ago. He is now becoming very abusive to his mother. Accusing her of sleeping all day. This coming from someone who had only awakened some 3 hours ago. He gets nastier and nastier. The take away curry has arrived but he is no longer bothered. He states that there are only 3 curries in the world; mild medium and hot. What have the Indians done for the world? Look at these stupid foreign people on the TV etc. etc, the white supremacist getting into full swing. No wonder he gets beaten up whenever he goes out to a pub.
Whilst he harangues his mother, Electron tries to gesture to her with walking fingers that her son has to get out. But before she sees this, Strangeness himself decides he no longer wants to stay and gets up to leave of his own accord. He is forced to take the unwanted curry with him as he staggers out of the door.
Proton and Electron are left in peace to eat their curry and ponder on what had happened. (It turns out later that he had decided to drink a bottle of spirit when he went to get wine and hence the inordinate drunkenness). The celebratory meal is quite miserable.
At 15 minutes past midnight the phone rings. Quark is back at the local train station. He says he got the train but it arrived too late to catch the bus connection so he got off his train walked across the platform and caught the next train home. The train home left at the same time that his bus connection was due to depart so there is a hint of untruth here.
Quark is requesting somewhere to stay, it is dark, he has nowhere to go, blah, blah, blah.
Whilst Proton tries to listen to Quarks nonsense Electron rants and shouts toward’s the mouthpiece.
F*** off you F****** Junkie.
You have plenty of places to go at all times of the night when you have some money.
I Don’t care, F*** off you 36 year old Junkie C***, go and see your junkie mates.
Not really helpful, but Electron find it helps him.
Welcome Home Electron. Normality has been restored.
Christmas is lurking in the shadows…………