8 March 2016.
Since coming out of hospital in September, Proton has been living in the shed. But it had to happen sooner or later, she would have to visit her house.
Strangeness and Quark had been asked on several occasions as to whether they were keeping on top of things and both assured her that they were keeping the place tidy.
Recently Strangeness had managed to get a free journey to visit Charm and their grandmother in the country. It takes a lot to get Strangeness to wake up and move and when he does he stays put wherever he stops. So after 2 weeks he is still asleep at his grandmothers, leaving Quark alone to his own devices.
Spring is in the air so Proton & Electron decide to move some of her winter bedding (all those cushions!) back to her house. Proton rings her house to warn Quark of her imminent appearance , the car is loaded up to the gunnels and the two of them set off.
On arrival they cannot turn the key in the front door. This means Quark has left his keys in the lock on the inside. Proton rings the doorbell and shouts through the letter box. No response. The phone inside is ringing incessantly. Electron begins to hammer hard on the door then looks through the window into the living room. The room is piled high with speakers and electrical equipment and then suddenly Quark appears at the window. He deigns to let them in.
The door opens and it is obvious that he is totally out of it, looks like he hasn’t eaten for days and has difficulty in forming coherent sentences. He looks like Gollum. In the centre of the hallway is a large ancient wooden cupboard unit blocking access to the rest of the house. For fucks sake Quark! shouts Electron, yeah for fargggs sayg repeats Quark sarcastically. At the top of the stairs is a wicker chair that doesn’t belong to the house teetering on the edge of the flight. Further investigation beyond the chair indicates that tiles have fallen off of the bathroom wall, these of course have been left where they fell …….. in the bath.
Cigarette/joint butts litter the floor throughout. The kitchen of course is piled high with dirty dishes and welded on food. The recently purchased brand new cooker looks about 20 years old. There is a plastic bag of what were once frozen chips on the table. Uncooked. Quark makes some space on a dining chair for Proton. She sits down and weeps inconsolably.
The phone still unanswered finally stops ringing.
Quark begins to apologise for the mess but says he cannot understand why it is so bad. He swears that it was fine when Proton spoke to him on the phone 2 hours earlier. Apparently this has all happened since then.
The phone begins to ring again,”Why won’t you answer the phone!” Proton shrieks. “Not now”, he replies and runs out of the house.
He returns 20minutes later and sits down next to Proton now on the garden bench outside the front of her house, leans back and almost overturns the two of them onto the concrete behind. “For fucks sake Quark! I have fractured vertebrae in my back I don’t want another one!”
Still incoherent, Quark is instructed that the house must be cleaned and tidied from top to bottom and that they will revisit in a few weeks time to inspect the place. If Quark were a tenant he would be in the process of being evicted.
Proton and Electron cannot wait to leave, as they do so, the phone begins to ring again.
Quark disappears back inside the rapidly degenerating house.