WHILE THE CATS AWAY, PLAY WITH YOUR MOUSE!

Proton continues her recovery. She has now been moved to a private room which is just like a hotel room. TV, Radio and her own private wet room…..it’s fantastic. She has managed to get up and down a flight of 12 stairs twice and is now waiting for the occupational therapist to pass Electrons shed as fit for habitation. It should be. Electron has spent his time clearing up rearranging furniture to the required height adding nice lighting and constructing a daybed in his bedroom. The next step is to build a walk in shower.

Meanwhile….

Quark is on drug week. Charm reports that she has locked all of her things in Protons bedroom. She had noticed that Quark had helped himself to some of her moisturiser. He had also helped himself to Protons expensive honey based moisturiser and conditioner. Even Strangeness purported to not understand why. Electron knows why.

Lets say Quark, who’s washing habits are to say the least irregular, is using these things as a …….lubricant.

Electron surmises this as having once returned with Proton to her house to find Quark in, lets say a state of undress, and asleep, with a bottle of conditioner next to him.

On the sofa in the downstairs lounge with the television still on!

HIP HIP. REHAB!

10 sept 2015

Quark and Roni are not an item. He returned after one night away. But that does not mean they have not bred. God help us.

Proton has been moved to a local health care centre. Everyone at the hospital said it was like a hotel and she would be much better off than in the main hospital. But on the first night she was in tears. She was in a ward where it was obvious that every one of her fellow patients had dementia. Every ward seemed to be full of dementia patients except for on the floor below which contained amputees and heart attack victims. The amputees gathered in their wheelchairs in the car park outside to smoke.

Proton is only 58 but everyone else seemed to be closer to 100 years.

The woman in the bed opposite just sat and stared at her whilst the one on the left only muttered that the staring woman deserves everything that’s coming to her.

The staring woman is Scottish and occasionally shouts out “WHIT!!” like the scrawny character during the interview scene in Trainspotting, it’s all a bit disconcerting.

Sad and depressing doesn’t really cover it.

In the main hospital, Electron used to look out of the window of the main concourse to see other windows. Through these windows he could see grey haired men and women in beds (not that much older than himself and Proton, the people, not the beds), attached to various drips and monitors, people alone, only technology holding them back from the inevitable. Time to wake up before it is too late he thought. (Although he also thought it would make a great painting that no one would want to buy).

Alcohol-Free-Aluminum-Sign-K-2559-300x202

On the second day at the new centre, Proton is much improved. Her blood pressure is almost that of a normal human after years of being over 200 over 100 and something. She has not had a cigarette for 2 and a half weeks (but is sneakily vaping, at last!) and is enjoying her physiotherapy. She is in an institution but has become un institutionalised. She is communicating with adults albeit even if some of those have dementia (they still make more sense than Quark most of the time). She has made friends outside of her immediate family. This is the best rehab she could possibly have been given. Perhaps we should break the boys hips. Don’t tempt me.

Charm and Electron continue to visit daily, the boys continue to not visit. Still no card.

Almost 3 weeks after her admission, Charm visits with a friend. He kisses Proton on both cheeks and comments that she is looking far better than the last time he saw her at home sitting in her kitchen (before she broke her hip (i.e. when she was well).

What a damning indictment. Proton has undergone major surgery, has not been able to smoke or drink, cannot eat most of the food that is provided by the hospital, is still in recovery but nonetheless looks better than when she was living with the boys.

Electron and Proton discuss selling her house and kicking the boys into reality and chasing their own dream of living in the sun. It will never happen of course…..or will it?

RONI RETURNS!

3 September 2015

Quark has visited the hospital once, Strangeness is still in hiding.

During the hospital visit Quark was given some money to get some provisions from the hospital shop for his mother. This took 45 minutes and on returning he was incensed that he was getting grief from the police and was being asked to move on all of the time. Electron has been out the front of the hospital vaping many times and not once even seen a policeman. So god only knows what Quark was doing to attract attention. Trawling various wards for pharmaceuticals no doubt.

But today Charm reports that Quark is a very happy junkie. His ex “girlfriend” of some 3 years ago is back in town.
Fresh from release from the mental hospital.

Charm had phoned him whilst out getting provisions for her mother;

“Great news! Roni is back. She is off the meds”

Charm can hear a dog barking in the background. Roni is already in the house.

Charm replies “Roni the schizophrenic who spiked everyone’s drinks in the local pub? (10 people wer taken to hospital). Roni the one who tried to get you killed?”

“ She’s okay now. She didn’t try to get me killed. It was her. She tried to stab me!”

Charm texts Quark stating that Roni is bad bad news and that he should not have anything to do with her. But on returning to Protons house, Quark is gone. Perhaps he is gone for some time, He has taken his milk with him, so lets hope so.

ELECTRONS RANT

DEAR QUARK AND STRANGENESS,
SO YOUR MUM IS IN HOSPITAL. AS SHE LEFT IN THE AMBULANCE QUARK SAID “THIS PLACE WILL BE SORTED OUT WHEN SHE RETURNS” AND HE BEGAN TO  SET ABOUT THE FRONT GARDEN WITH THE SECATEURS.
TURNS OUT YOU STOPPED AFTER 30 MINUTES.
5 DAYS LATER, HAVING FOUND THAT QUARK HAS RAIDED HIS MUMS VAPE EQUIPMENT, I TURN UP TO RESCUE IT TO FIND THAT YOU AND STRANGENESS ARE JUST CARRYING ON AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. YOU SEEM TO THINK THAT IT IS YOUR HOUSE NOW. MUCH BETTER NOW THAT WOMAN WHO USED TO LIVE THERE HAS GONE.

THE HOUSE REEKS, NO CLEANING UP HAS BEEN DONE  AND YOU ARE AS USUAL BOTH SITTING IN THE FRONT ROOM WATCHING YOU TUBE AND SMOKING DOPE. QUARK NO DOUBT HAVING TAKEN ADDITIONAL “MEDICINE” BESIDES.
HOW CARING.
MAYBE IT WOULD BE AN IDEA TO GET YOUR MOTHER A CARD – I KNOW THAT YOU DONT BELIEVE IN THESE BUT ………
IN THE RIGHT SHOPS YOU CAN GET A CARD FOR AROUND 70 PENCE, YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY DRUGS, SO WHY NOT A CHEAP CARD? ITS WHAT CARING HUMANS DO WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IN IT OR NOT – ITS A NICE THING TO DO.
BUT NO!
YOU JUST SEE THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE YOURSELVES.

BOTH OF YOU  ARE IN YOUR MOTHERS HOUSE BECAUSE DESPITE APPROACHING 40 YEARS OF AGE  YOU CANNOT  GET YOUR PATHETIC LIVES TOGETHER ENOUGH TO FEND FOR YOURSELVES. YOU PRETEND TO BE THERE FOR YOUR MOTHER BUT YOU ARE REALLY THERE FOR YOUSELVES AND THE INTERNET – EVEN WITH THE CHILD LOCK SETTINGS ACTIVATED. WELL NOW YOUR MOTHER IS NOT THERE, SO WHY ARE YOU? WHY DON’T YOU BOTH GO TO STRANGENESS’S FLAT?

AS USUAL CHARM HAS STEPPED IN. SHE AT LEAST IS STARTING TO MAKE HER WAY IN THE WORLD BUT WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN SHE IS PREPARED TO DROP ALL THAT AND TURN UP TO IMMEDIATELY HELP. BUT SHE WILL HAVE TO RETURN TO HER LIFE SOONER OR LATER.

NOW WE ARE AT THE STAGE WHERE YOUR MOTHER FEELS THAT SHE CANNOT COME BACK TO HER OWN HOUSE AND IS LOOKING TO USE RESPITE CARE. BECAUSE HER SONS, DESPITE PRETENDING TO, CANNOT BE TRUSTED TO LOOK AFTER HER. YOUR MOTHER HAS TO TELL EVERYONE WHO ASKS ABOUT HER STATE OF LIVING THAT SHE LIVES ALONE.

NEVER MIND JUST SKIN UP ANOTHER JOINT, STICK WHATEVER IT IS YOU SPEND YOUR DOLE MONEY ON UP YOUR NOSE OR IN YOUR VEINS, RAID HER BEDROOM QUARK FOR ANYTHING OF USE.

YOU ARE LIKE TWO VULTURES WAITING TO INHERIT THE HOME.

AND THEN YOU CAN SELL THINGS OFF BIT BY BIT AND THEN SELL THE HOUSE TO KEEP YOU IN YOUR PATHETIC LIFESTYLE. AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE NOWHERE TO LIVE APART FROM STRANGENESSES FLAT.

SO AT LAST YOU WILL GO THERE AND SIT IN THE COLD AND DARK TAKING DRUGS AND SMOKING DOPE UNTIL YOU NEED SOME HELP ……… BUT NO ONE WILL COME….NO ONE WILL COME …..AND YOU WILL FINALLY SEE WHAT IT S LIKE TO BE ALONE … AND NO ONE WILL COME BECAUSE YOU HAVE FUCKED TOO MANY PEOPLE OVER.

AND IN TIME ONE OF YOU WILL GO AND NO ONE WILL COME.
AND THE OTHER WILL STARVE .
AND NO ONE WILL COME.

GOOD.

AND THEN SOMEONE WILL NOTICE THE SMELL
AND THE FUMIGATORS WILL COME
AND THE MAGGOT INFESTED CORPSES WILL BE FOUND
AND THEY WILL ASK WHO WERE THESE “PEOPLE” “THE BOYS”
AND THE ANSWER WILL COME

NOTHING

All Change……..My A***

25 August 2015

After 3 days of agony, the replacement hip operation is complete. Proton is now bionic and recovering.
Charm rushed to her mothers side the very day of the accident and is being helpful.
The boys however…….

Strangeness has an aversion to hospitals and despite having a bus pass refuses to visit his mother.
Electron and Charm visit every day for 5 -6 hours at a time.
On returning to Protons house there is a heavy fug of strong-smelling dope hanging about the house. A mass of dirty dishes and the boys happily skinning up in the living room watching you tube videos.
“Everything is going to change”.

Days turn into a week and beyond.
Strangeness has left the house to visit his ex and daughter in the country. As usual he has run away. Although for this he did use his bus pass.
Quark has decided to disregard any pretence of being ill or tired and decided to enter full on junkie mode.
No longer lurking in his room he now roams the entire house dressed only in shorts with his slack face and incomprehensible mutterings. Electron tries not to lose his temper but cannot. Every time he enters the house he ends up shaking with rage.

“Stop being so aggressive garbles Quark”.

Electron remains aggressive and begins to take anything of value from the house, doing his best to stop himself from punching Quark.
imperishable food is removed together with laptop, camera and all of Protons prescription drugs. Her bedroom door is also locked.

Over the weekend Quark, with his mother in hospital, decided that it would be fine to go into her room and help himself to all of her vaping equipment (“to test it out for her”) her phone charger (which has now been lost), no doubt some of her cigarettes (even though he has given up smoking) and her anti depressant tablets. The full scale of his ransacking will no doubt be discovered in due course.

Quark needed the vaping equipment because he does not have his at the moment. He says he has left it at the caravan in his friends back garden. The caravan he uses at the start of drug week. Despite the caravan being merely a mile away he has not gone to retrieve it. Other times he says that the battery does not work, “it gives off sparks”. He also says that he droped it in some water. Whatever the case, his vaping equipment is nowhere to be seen.

Quark copes with the nicotine withdrawal by scrabbling for dog ends in the gutter.

All Change?

22 August 2015.

Electron has arranged to set off early in the morning to visit his elderly mother some 100 miles away so is sleeping in his shed.
5.30 am BRINNNNG BRINNNNNG
It is Proton:
“I’m wedged between my bed and the chest of drawers, I fell and I can’t move, the kids have phoned for an ambulance, I told them not to, please come !”
Within 5 minutes Electron is at her house, the ambulance crew is already there. Proton appears to be in great pain but as she cannot remove her jeans the ambulance crew state that as they cannot examine her they cannot help and that they are on a 20 minute time slot . If she still has pain in a few hours she should call another ambulance. They leave.
Hours go by. The ambulance crew managed to get her partially on the bed but her legs straddle over the edge. The pain gets worse… and worse. She is unable to move but after 5 hours nature calls.
What to do ?
We remember the portaloo.
It is quickly retrieved from the utility room adjacent to the kitchen but….
On opening it is obvious that it was never emptied the last time it was used many months ago. Electron wretches and wretches but manages to hold things in. The portaloo is deposited in the back yard and Electron fetches a metal bucket.

After 6 hours another ambulance is called. Electrons stroking and stroking (unlike the the lung infection episode)  did not alleviate the pain this time.
This ambulance crew is far superior to the previous shambles. They turn up complete with a junior doctor and state that they are here for as long as necessary. No time limit.

The junior doctor is a Muslim, thankfully Strangeness who has returned to the lounge to watch you tube videos does not see her enter the house. Strangeness hates Muslims.

The crew are fantastic and despite the various obstacles in their path manage to get Proton down the stairs and into the ambulance.
The cries of anguish however are terrifying. It is all Electron can do to stop from crying himself.
As Proton is administered morphine, Quark states that when she gets back everything in the house will have changed. It will be totally cleaned up ( the “boys had been asked to do this 2 weeks earlier – the stains on the wall, the cobwebs, the general mess). Everything is going to change.
Their mother is telling him she loves him and questioning whether god loves her. “What have I done to deserve this? She asks herself”.

Quark looks on as the ambulance pulls away.
Nothing like a glimpse of mortality to shake one into action?

Proton is rushed into A & E. Tests are done, morphine is dispensed, X rays are taken.
Everyone is on top of their game. The NHS is wonderful when the chips are down. Proton has broken her hip. Not fractured. BROKEN. Electron cannot even imagine the pain.

In the ambulance Proton was asked to rate the pain on a scale of 1 – 10.
9 she replied.