……..AND INTO THE BROWN (SHE WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT)

25 July

into the brown2The bathroom situation is mounting up. Proton cannot leave the room during her 3 hour morning session and with nowhere else to go her daughter has to resort to the use of a carrier bag!  Electron cannot even contemplate how this is even possible and doesn’t really want to think about it. But a solution has been found…..they have managed to source a portaloo on the internet. It was supposed to arrive today but as Quark was charged with the task of arranging things, the item in question has been sent to the wrong store. It will be delivered to the correct store and be picked up by Quark and Charm tomorrow.

Strangeness has buggered off again, Dickhead did not offer him a job, the library books remain in the hallway.

26 July

A very complicated contraption now also sits in the hallway. The new portaloo. It looks like a very clever piece of kit, self-flushing and everything. It’s going to be a bugger to clean out when the time comes though, what with all those pipes and valves.

29 July

After some thought and further internet research, it is the general consensus that the contraption is far too sophisticated for its own good. Special neutralizing products and cleaners would be required on a regular basis. With that in mind, Electron is dispatched to a local camping store to acquire something a little more basic.

He returns with what is basically a plastic bucket with a seat and lid attached. Everyone seems ecstatic about this. Charm cannot wait for tomorrow morning to come.

30 July – 1 August

The bucket has now been “christened”. Charm is initially pleased with how it works. Relieved that at least she does not need to resort to a carrier bag in the morning.

After a few days, however, the novelty is wearing thin. Especially when it comes to the slopping out. It doesn’t help that after the first time, she left the un-emptied vessel for 2 sessions. When the required slopping out came around it was not a pleasant experience. She was almost sick.

Next time she is going to borrow Quarks 2nd World War gas mask.

GAS MASK 3

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