Wednesday 16th April
After work Electron drops in on Proton to take her to get some fairy lights from a local DIY store. Proton loves fairy lights. He also has to deliver the boots that Strangeness eventually ordered from the Internet that had arrived at Electrons office. Electron had to order them as Strangeness does not have a bank account. Driving on route Neb#45 waves hello from his car, he seems okay.
Quark, Strangeness & even Charm have all once again congregated in Protons kitchen. Quark of course is now living there.
Quark insists on relating his adventure of the day:
He has had a call from his latest platonic female friend Titania. Both Electron & Proton know Titania from years back. She was a skanky alcoholic of extremely short stature then, but apparently has not touched a drink in 5 months. Still short though.
Quark says that early this morning around 8.30 Titania was walking her dog in the park when she stumbled across a drunken tramp whom she knew. Being a friendly soul, she naturally gave him a can of beer (as you do when you are no longer an alcoholic) together with some tobacco imported from Spain.
In time 4 policemen turn up led by PC Bully. PC Bully proceeds to confiscate the alcohol and tobacco, presumably as this has occurred in an alcohol free zone. One of those areas with signs showing a glass crossed out in red. Fair enough, especially as it was in a community sensory park for the blind, not the blind drunk. Quark claims that the police said they would only give the tobacco back if Titania could present them with her plane ticket.
This has got Quark all fired up, he begins to rant about living in a fascist state and insists that he is going to report PC Bully. But who to? The police. Good luck with that.
It would not be sensible for Quark to approach the police in his current state. He would only end up getting arrested. Not for the first time.
You are prepared to accept free money from the fascist state, thinks Electron, but says nothing.
Are you ready to go to the store he asks Proton, desperate to get away from the seriously intoxicated Quark.
They leave in due course. In the Car Electron asks Proton what the hell Quark is “on” today. Amphetamines, I asked him as it was obvious.
So now are you prepared to accept what I have been saying for months? I kept asking you to find out where his money goes (as if it wasn’t obvious).
“He’s not always that bad” she says.
“No, but he is always on something. Today he looks like he has had a stroke. The right side of his mouth is lopsided.”
“Is it, I didn’t think so.”
“He looks like those down and outs that sit in the underpass with their dogs on strings.”
“He’s not that bad.””
Not that bad! He is off his face. He looks like he hasn’t eaten much since Xmas”. “Lean and Mean” according to Strangeness. But he, as do they all, have some sort of vanity gene which interprets thinness with beauty. This is one of the reasons Proton ended up with Electron.
Quark will need to start wearing a second jumper soon. The one he has tucked into his trousers to keep them from falling down is beginning to lose the battle.
“He had a bad childhood.”
(Ah his childhood with his father in the States – that justifies everything)
“He needs rehab.”, says Proton.
This is a lead in to Proton blaming the powers that be for not providing rehab. But for once she doesn’t go there.
To get rehab you need to push (no pun intended) for it. Quark attends a charity that offers this service, but after 3 years of attending regularly only seems to return more twatted than when he left. He does not want rehab, it would give him nothing to live for.
The store is visited and the lights are bought.
Electron and Proton return to her house. Strangeness and Quark are upstairs in Quarks bedroom, doubtless smoking a joint.
Charm is at the kitchen table.
“Can we put the fairy lights out in the garden?”
“Not now, I’ve been on the go for 12 hours.”
“Maybe. But not if when I get home from work this place is like a junkies drop in centre.”
“He’s not a junkie. That’s Heroin, he’s not on heroin.”
Not anymore he isn’t. But he is always on something, and to my mind a junkie is a junkie.
It’s like saying he’s not an alcoholic because he doesn’t drink beer.
Wiki agrees with me.
The tranquillity of the shed awaits.
Arguments are bound to ensue at Protons house